


Keeping Up with the Hatakes

by DinoGlitter



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, BAMF Orochimaru (Naruto), Haku the effortlessly beautiful, Hatake Kakashi is so Done, Manda the not so friendly python, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parental Orochimaru (Naruto), Revenge, Sibling Rivalry, Siblings, Social Media, hes also done with their shit, indra is a single mom that don't need no man to help raise his 5 kids, kimimaro and kin are sass, kotohime is a typical sis, mangetsu is a troll, mitsuki is a baby snake, orochimaru the beauty guru, rogu is a good bro, teens don't respect personal space, utakata is forever chill, yagura is a salt monster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:58:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22175221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinoGlitter/pseuds/DinoGlitter
Summary: With 10 children under their belt Sakumo Hatake and his partner, Orochimaru, have taken the country by storm.  Their achievements are the stuff of legends, their lifestyle a thing of envy, and their personalities will make you fall in love.   Join us as we take a look into the lives of one of Japan's most elite households.  From social media escapades to their infamous holiday bashes, we bring to you Keeping up with the Hatakes!
Comments: 14
Kudos: 44





	1. A glimpse backstage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Band/social media guide
> 
> Rogu (Log) – Hiss_Hiss_Bitsh (Vocals/ saxophone/flute)  
Mangetsu – SharkBait_HooHaHa (Drums)  
Haku (Yuki) – YukiOhNahNah (Keytar/Piano/koto/vocals)  
Utakata (Uta)- AcidBubbleBoy (bass/rap/synthesizer)  
Yagura – Shinobi_Yagura (guitar/Shamisen/Biwa
> 
> Ukon - Sl33p0ni  
Sakon - P33ty0ni

**SharkBait_HooHaHa**

[**PHOTO**: Mangetsu grins at the camera positioned above him on a selfie stick. Behind him, the rest of Shinobi is sprawled over a plush red couch in a dressing room. Rogu is in the center leaning back with a smirk on his face flipping of the camera. To his right, with their back pressed to Rogu’s side is a bored-looking Utakata playing angry birds on his phone. On Rogu’s left, Yagura has his arms crossed and a pout on his youthful face. Stretched across their laps is Haku who smiles up at the camera softly.]

**SharkBait_HooHaHa **So glad to be back home in Tokyo for the final show of our world tour! Can’t wait to get back in the studio to make some more killer beats for you guys! Stay sharp Shurikens! **#guesswhosback #JUTSUWT #worldtour #shinobi #letshearitfortheboys #Waterboi #Snowboi #Bubbleboi #Snakeboi #Smolboi**

Liked by **Sc@r3Cr0w **and **5,036 others**

**View all 374 comments**

**YukiOhNahNah**

**[Photo: **Haku is settled in his make-up chair in full costume and ready to go onstage. In his lap is a wide-eyed blue-haired child looking up at him in wonder as they clutch one of Haku’s ringlets. Haku is giving the child a kissy face emphasizing the indigo color of his lips.**]**

**YukiOhNahNah **My #1 fan came backstage to wish me luck. I swear I don’t know how **@Hiss_Hiss_Bitsh** got such an adorable sibling!

Liked by **BunnyBones17** and **13,079 others**

**View all 1,642 comments**

**Hiss_Hiss_Bitsh**

**[photo: **Rogu grins at the camera with his phone angled to show the screaming audience behind him in the arena**. ]**

**Hiss_Hiss_Bitsh **Let’s get this bread! **#Shinobiworldtour #stageselfie #shurikens**

Liked by** HimeXSama **and** 3.2K others **

**View all 2,582 comments**

**AcidBubbleBoy**

**[Video: **The camera is focused on Haku just off stage as he twirls in a short, white, wa Lolita dress. The petticoats under his skirt making the fabric appear fluffy. A pair of large wings made of gauze strips and wire were settled on his back. His legs were adorned with ripped and distressed white fishnets. On the keytar players feet were a pair of platform Mary janes. Haku stopped spinning to give the camera a wink and a cute pose. 

“Now you.” Haku laughed pointing to someone off camera.

The camera then pans to his left to show Mitsuki beaming at the man before copying his twirl and wink. Haku and several stage techs clap for the boy. 

“Now try this.” Haku prompts before he started to perform the moves of T-ARA’s Bo Peep dance.

Mitsuki gave a smirk not unlike his older brother before perfectly copying the cat paw hand movements and hip swirls. When he finished everyone cheered for the child including an enthusiastic whoop from Rogu off camera.]

**AcidBubbleBoy **Our pretty Yuki has a new dance partner. #bandmascot #babysnake #yukitheunfairlybeautiful

**Liked by** ** ShinobiBabe21 and 948 others**

**View all 361 comments**

**Sl33p0ni**

**[video: **A hazy hot pink light illuminates the stage as a fog curls across a stage. Shinobi is on stage performing one of their latest unreleased songs. At one-point Utakata makes his way to the edge of the stage right in front of the camera. His kimono catches the light causing the metallic obi to shimmer. Utakata leans down to the camera and winks before walking off as he continued to play. The camera turns to show Sakon who grins at the camera and angles it to show his twin at his side.

“Hey Ukon, got anything to say to all the shuriken out there?”

Ukon turned his attention to the camera before sighing in reluctance.

“I wish this was a kpop concert and I hope you know that you have my phone.”

Sakon’s face overtakes the screen again before he laughs.

“sorry Ani, took it by mistake again.”**]**

**Sl33p0ni **Got front row seats for this show! Always need to support our dorkiest sibling! 

**Liked by** ** P3tty0ni and 326 others**

**View all 25 comments**

“So, are we going out for drinks?” Mangetsu asked as he settled down on the dressing room couch.

“Don’t do anything illegal on camera.” Indra stated as he swiped at his tablet with a blank stare.

“Manager approves!” Mangetsu grinned. “Who’s in?!”

“Not me.” Rogu grinned as he tugged his little brother’s cheeks. “I gotta take the baby home.”

Mitsuki smiled up at his brother sweetly before viciously kicking the elder in the shin. Rogu jerked back releasing a stream of curses as the 5-year-old rushed to Haku’s side.

“I’m not a baby.” Mitsuki smiled eerily before turning to the keytaurist. “Can I help?

Haku looked down at the boy in confusion.

“You want to help me remove my makeup?”

Mitsuki nodded happily before grabbing the nearby makeup wipes.

“I help mama do it at home.” Mitsuki chirped.

“That’s so sweet.” Haku hummed lifting the child on to the counter before him and handing him a pack of wipes. “I welcome your help then.”

Mitsuki giggled before starting to wipe at Haku’s face. A knock on the door caught the other bandmates’ attention as the door opened to reveal 2 smirking teens. The twins were completely decked out in the band's merch. Ukon went so far as to decorate one of his Ita bags with Utakata, his favorite member to Rogu’s dismay, buttons, pins, and even a plush doll.

“You guys were awesome!” Sakon grinned.

Ukon simply nodded in agreement and moved to allow their waiting parent through the door. Orochimaru glided into the room with all the grace of his dancer's background. His hair has in a thick messy braid and settled over his black distressed sweater-clad shoulder. 

“You all did wonderfully.” Orochimaru smiled cryptically. “I regret not being able to see some of your other tour dates now.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Rogu nodded. “We know you are busy.”

Orochimaru frowns before taking his second eldest’s chin in his grasp. 

“That is no excuse for not being involved in my children’s lives.”

Rogu froze before sighing and nodding. Orochimaru smiled and kissed his forehead.

“Besides, your wài pó said she attended your show in Guangzhou and that she saw some interesting things.” 

Rogu blanched at his parent’s words.

“Grandma went to that show?” He asked nervously.

Mangetsu snorted before falling out of his seat in a fit of laughter.

“Oh my god.” The boy wheezed as he tried to breathe. “That means she saw you strip during the encore!”

The other group members joined in laughing at Rogu’s expense. The vocalist just tried to hide in his hands.

“She is definitely bringing that up when she comes for new years.” Ukon said poking his elder brother.

“She might withhold your gift.” Sakon mocked viciously.

“Boys.” Orochimaru called out in warning.

“Sorry mǔ qīn!” They chorused in unison. 

Orochimaru gave them a knowing look before glancing at his youngest child.

“Mitsuki we have to go now, you can see Haku later.”

Mitsuki pouted but set down the makeup wipe he held.

“I only got half of it off.” He told the other forlornly. 

“That’s ok Mi-chan.” Haku smiled softly. “Want to take a selfie with me before you go?”

Mitsuki nodded before quickly climbing into the elder’s lap. Haku pulled out his iPhone with a cute white rabbit case, complete with bendable ears and a cute white puffball dangling from a gold chain at the bottom. He held the phone up above them and Mitsuki was quick to put the bunny filter on. The child giggled snapping several pictures. 

“Bye-bye Haku-nii!” Mitsuki chirped hugging the keytaurist before hopping down and repeating the action with each of his brother’s bandmates, including their surly manager.

“I expect to see you all at Sunday brunch.” Orochimaru informed picking up his youngest son. “You all look like you could use a good home-cooked meal and it’s Sakumo turn.”

With final goodbyes and promises, Rogu walked his family out. Utakata made his way to Haku’s side, taking the younger’s phone he waited till the last remnants of makeup were wiped from Haku’s face before planting a big kiss to Haku’s slightly red cheek. He quickly pulled back and opened Instagram posting the picture and a few others before setting the phone back on the counter. Haku, who was used to the other’s doing this, didn’t bother to stop him. He would see the post eventually.

**YukiOhNahNah**

**[Photo 1: Haku blowing a kiss at the camera, still in full costume, with Yagura standing stiffly behind him with an annoyed frown. In the background, Indra can be seen hitting a frightened Mangetsu with a rolled-up magazine.**

** Photo 2: A sweaty Haku is holding the camera above him as Mangetsu and Rogu grin at the camera above his head. They appear to be in a hallway backstage.**

** Photo 3: Mitsuki is pressed cheek to cheek with Haku’s half-bare face. Bunny ears and noses are covering their faces as they smile at the camera.**

** Photo 4: A blotchy and bare-faced Haku is focused on something off-screen as Utakata kisses his cheek.** **]**

**YukiOhNahNah **‘Till next time Shurikens!’ - from the Shinobi family

**Liked by ** **AcidBubbleBoy and 20,127 others**

**View all 2,002 comments**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things about this revamp that you may have caught on to:  
\- I'm basing shinobi's style off of several visual kei bands especially when it comes to the member's looks. Haku's look, in particular, is a blend of mostly Mana from Malice Mizer, Meto from Mejibray, and Hayato from Monolith.  
-Their sound is actually a blend of SuG and Lycaon.  
\- So I had this thought about the elemental nations and the characters in the show and how they all have various aspects of other cultures. I always thought whatever clan Orochimaru came from was kinda nomadic and didn't stick to one place. So I translated that over to Orochimaru having a Thai/Chinese mother, who will be the only oc in this fic and a BOSS, and a Japanese father, who has passed. Most of the kids fluctuate between calling Orochimaru mother in a formal way or Oro.  
\- Orochimaru and Sakumo see Rogu's band as their kids they didn't raise. They were so used to the early years where the band would practice in their guest house that they don't even bat an eye at how famous they have become.  
-Social media posts will be a thing to replace the confessional since I had a lot of ideas I want to play around with.
> 
> I hope you like this first chapter! I am planning out an update schedule at the moment so stay tuned!


	2. Common Occurrence

It was one of those days. Orochimaru knew first hand that having 10 children would bite him in the ass one day. This was just one of many.

“Kimi honey put down the hair straightener.” Sakumo coaxed as he slowly approached his 5th eldest child.

“Why?!” The boy snapped sharply as he turned the cordless straightener to its highest setting. 

“Sweetie just put it down. I'll buy you a new bottle of conditioner, but only if you don't attack your brother.” Sakumo bargained. 

This was not the first time he had to talk one of his kids out of murdering another.

“The son of a bitch deserves it!” Kimimaro growled edging closer to Kabuto’s uninterested form.

“We have the same mom.” The megane teen said in a bored tone as he continued to flip through his magazine. "And he is sitting right there you idiot."

“You will die.” Kimimaro hissed in a way that was a dead ringer for when Orochimaru himself was agitated. 

“Okay, time to separate.” Sakumo stated picking up the slim, but in no way light, teen and snatching away the hair straightener. 

Orochimaru couldn’t hide the appreciative smile that bloomed on his face. Seeing his husband toss their moody 150+ lb teen over his shoulder like it was nothing was definitely worth having to see 2 of his smartest kids fight. Luckily his husband had 17 years of experience wrangling the most bloodthirsty of their bunch. 

“No! No! No! put me down! I want him to burn for what he's done!” Kimimaro screeched pounding on the thick muscles of his father’s back in outrage.

“All I did was use some of your conditioner. I didn't stab you in the back.” Kabuto said evenly as he finally glanced up at his brother.

“But it's my conditioner. My name was on the bottle. You have your own stuff! What good is writing our names on anything in this house if nobody is going to read!” Kimimaro snapped in frustration.

“Okay honey you made your point now calm down.” Sakumo soothed patting his son on the back to calm him as he carried him up the stairs.

“No dad let me go! Let me go!” Kimimaro’s yells grew more faint the further his father got.

Orochimaru sat through the exchange casually sipping his glass of chardonnay as he pet Manda’s head. The python had wrapped around him and settled his head on his owner’s shoulder. Sai, their quietest child, was settled at his side with is head pillowed by Manda’s thick coils. The teen had angled his phone at the confrontation and was now smiling at the screen.

“If you post that make sure to tag him.” Kabuto said knowing exactly what his brother was planning.

“I have no idea what you mean.” Sai replied.

The room was silent except for the occasional tapping from Sai’s phone until the teen gave a quiet gasp.

“What’s wrong little inkling?” Orochimaru asked curiously.

“M ǔqīn, I think you better hold down Kabuto.” 

Orochimaru looked over his son’s shoulder to see what caused his trepidation. 

**BunnyBones17**

**[Photo: ** The camera is pointing down from an ivy covered balcony to show several medical textbooks floating in the swimming pool below. **]**

**BunnyBones17 ** Revenge Bitch!  **@Med_Head_Beetle** #siblinglife #revengeisadishyouthrowinthepool #dontmesswithbunny

Liked by  **BirdBoy18** and  **392 others**

**View all 42 comments**

Well shit. Orochimaru thought as he drained the last of his wine just in time for Kabuto to receive a notification.

“What the fuck!” Kabuto roared jumping to his feet.

It was Orochimaru’s turn to hold back one of their kids. He really wished Kimi’s revenge didn’t always involve property damage.


	3. Banned

“Do you miss living in Yamaguchi?” Sakumo mused as he pulled his lover closer under the thick blanket surrounding them. 

“Sometimes.” Orochimaru hummed watching the gentle snowfall outside of their bedroom window. “I was raised in Iwakuni so there will always be a little homesickness.”

Orochimaru looked up at his husband with a soft smile before asking the same question.

“Do you miss Furano?”

“I miss the snow.” Sakumo grinned kissing the top of Orochimaru’s head. “The lavender fields too.”

Orochimaru grinned at the thought.

“When we met I remember you smelled like Lavender and honey. So warm and soothing to my senses. I wanted to curl up on your chest and breathe in your scent.”

Sakumo clutched him a bit tighter before looking down at their laps. Their youngest Mitsuki was cuddled up to them taking his afternoon nap.

“I was thinking of getting a vacation home, like the one we stayed in when Rogu was born.” 

“That would be nice. The kids would enjoy it.”

Their peaceful conversation was soon interrupted by the chime of the doorbell. Half a minute later and the bell rang again. Orochimaru sighed leaving the warmth of his husband and child to go answer the front door.

“6 teenagers living in the house and not a single one can bother to answer the door.”

Orochimaru undid the locks and opened the door only to quickly shut and lock it again. He retreats back to Sakumo’s warm embrace, ignoring the continuously ringing doorbell. 

“Who was it?” Sakumo asked with a raised brow.

“No one.”

The doorbell continued to ring prompting several thumps from upstairs before a blur of white hair sweeps down the staircase to the front door. The thick wood is slammed open by a vicious looking Kimimaro in a fluffy lavender robe and his long wet hair slicked back to show his mud mask covered face.

“What?” The teen hisses causing the visitor to flinch.

The said visitor turned out to be an annoyed Jiraiya. 

“Your dad slammed the door in my face.” Jiraiya told the teen, only to receive an eerie grin in return.

“Oh?” The teen cooed in a sweet mocking tone. “I guess I should follow suit then.”

Kimimaro slammed the door in the man’s face before stomping his way back upstairs.

“The old pervert is at the door!” Kimimaro yells once he reaches the landing before turning to head to his room.

Sakumo sighed looking down at Orochimaru’s calm features.

“Is it Jiraiya?” He asks in exasperation.

“Who else?” Orochimaru smirked stroking a frown mark that appeared on Mitsuki’s forehead.

The doorbell ringing had stopped, but that did not mean the persistent toad had left. If fact, Jiraiya had made his way into their back yard and was now knocking on the window the couple had been watching the snowfall through.

“Do you think if we ignore him he will go away?” Orochimaru asked tucking his head under Sakumo’s chin.

“Doesn’t hurt to try.” Sakumo said closing his eyes and ignoring the pleading voice of their friend.

As his whining grew louder the couple heard the unmistakable shout of Kimimaro once again. This time a younger and shriller voice was heard alongside his.

“Would you shut up already?!” Kin, Sakumo and Orochimaru’s youngest daughter, called down from the balcony in her brother’s room. “Weren’t you banned from the house for 2 months?!”

“That is no way to talk to your elders’ young lady!” Jiraiya yells back.

“Piss off uncle! You know why Mǔqīn shut the door in your face!” Kimimaro called out.

“I’m sure Maru is over it by now! Let me in its cold out here!” Jiraiya defended.

“Then freeze.” Kimimaro says in a stoic tone.

“Then perish!” Kin shouts at the same time.

Sakumo rolls his eyes and reluctantly leaves the cozy blanket nest. He looks down at his now dozing husband and sleeping child. The escalation of shouts prompts Sakumo to sigh and make his way toward the back door. As hilarious as his kids antagonizing one of their godparents is, he wanted to get back to his lazy day off.


	4. Privacy is not a right, It's a privileged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi just wanted to soak in peace.

There was one place in the entirety of the Hatake estate that every one of the children knew was holy ground. No pranks were allowed. No fights could come to head. It was a place of peace and ultimately neutral ground for all interhouse conflicts. That room was Orochimaru and Sakumo’s master bathroom.

The space was large and painted in soft greys and whites. Pops of sparkling gold-trimmed the space making the room appear as if it belonged in a palace. Gleaming white tiles stretched across the floor and marble counters lined the walls. The rainfall shower could easily fit 8 people. The large recessed tub was the crowning jewel of the room. It was large and square and currently occupied. 

Kakashi tilted his head back as he sank deeper into the spearmint scented bubbles. He came home every month specifically to indulge in this tub. Obito didn’t understand his fixation with it. Kakashi just told his husband that it was a Hatake thing. They even had a sign-up sheet for who gets to use the bath and when on their parents’ busy days. Kakashi always picked a time when everyone would be out of the house. Today, however, his peace would be brutally interrupted by the 2nd eldest child. Hatake Kotohime.

“And this is the crowning jewel of my childhood, the master ba-“ Her excited tone cut short as she entered the bathroom to see her elder brother buried from the nose down in bubbles. 

Kakashi raised a hand in greeting.

“Yo.” 

“This is live.” Koto replied in a deadpan as she walked further into the room. “Everyone wants you to show off your abs.”

Kakashi huffed in amusement at his sister’s grimace. 

“Sorry guys those are for my husband.” He said cheekily.

Koto scoffed moving past him to angle her phone at other aspects of the room. 

“My brother was using the tub that our father surprised papa with for their 5th anniversary. Every child that lived in this house had family bath time in there, but that’s not my reason for showing you all this room. The real beauty is this.” 

She angled her phone at an intricate vanity with a plush stool set before it. A dozen drawers lined both sides of it which Koto proceeded to open and show the contents of. 

“My papa, or mŭqīn as we call them most of the time, hoards the best eyeshadow palettes. They are a huge fan of Colourpop, Fenty, Urban Decay and NYX” 

Koto sat on the stool giving the camera a view of not only her in the mirror but also Kakashi’s back and shoulders in the bath behind her. 

“Mŭqīn’s favorite is…” She trailed off digging through one of the drawers giving the camera an even better view of Kakashi stretching his arms over his head. 

Koto popped back up holding a pastel rainbow palette with little carton characters and Nomad printed on it, but frowned upon seeing the hundreds of thirst comments.

“Ew, you guys that’s my brother!” She shrieked.

“It’s your own fault for waltzing in on his time Hime.” Ukon grunted making his way over to her. “Turn off your live stream. I don’t want to see my older brother’s ass all over the internet.”

“I second that statement.” Kin chimed in as she poked her head into the room.

“Can all of you leave?” Kakashi sighed. “We are too old to all be in the same room together while any of us are naked.”

“Nobody physically present cares.” Kin droned settling herself on the counter beside Koto and waving at the screen.

“It’s nothing we all haven’t seen before.” Ukon huffs.

“I really hope Obito doesn’t see this.” Kakashi groaned as his sibling continued to lounge around the space digging through their parent's makeup.

“Too late.” Koto grinned seeing a familiar name pop up in the comments. “Hi, Obi!”

If they were anywhere else in the house Kakashi would have kicked every one of them in the shin. Unfortunately, there can be no conflict or force used in the master bath. 

“Obito wants you to flex.” Koto laughed.

“I hate you all.” Kakashi sighed sinking below the water’s surface.


End file.
